November 28, 2009
“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind. -Nathaniel Hawthorne
A few people have asked me lately if things are getting easier and my response is always centered around my thoughts, depending on the moment. Honestly, my emotions are still quite raw and it doesn’t take much to turn a smile into a tear.
Everywhere around me I see Cain, and though I have memories and their comforts, the absence of my friend is still hard for me to cope with and it’s difficult to shake my emotions.
I miss those expressive eyes that followed me everywhere. I miss the dog that used to stand at the door “woofing” at me to go for a walk. I miss how he curled up in a ball at my feet and waited patiently, and sometimes not so patiently, for the day to get on. I miss being told it was time to go to bed. I miss the feel of his soft fur and wiping the slobber from his face. I miss my co pilot on all those rides. I miss his energy and being asked to play tug or keep away with the ball. I miss the bounce in his step and the life that was him, and everything that the physical sense brings; all that I don’t have.
I’m having a tough moment and though my memories are fond, I miss my second shadow.