Sleeping With Bear

November 17, 2009

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” -Winnie the Pooh quote

Another 5 am date with morning. I wish for once it would stand me up, but it doesn’t and I find myself wrestling with my thoughts as they drive me from beneath the warmth of my blankets. As I sit at my computer, thoughts of my other dogs once again come to mind and thankfully crowd out the sadness I was going to write about.

I found Bear under the piano last night in a place Cain used to sit, remnants of his slobber still sits on the windowsill. It’s one of the best vantage points in the house for watching squirrels, the occasional fox that passes through the yard and once in a great while, a lone coyote. She usually picks a different window in the house to peer out of and last night it felt strange, but comforting to see her there.

Her mom died giving birth to Bear and her 9 siblings, requiring them to be raised by the hands of humans, my son Justin being one of the adoptive mothers. Bottle fed and hand held constantly during those first few weeks of life has led Bear to believe she is a lap dog. She has an overabundance of energy and joy whenever Justin comes to visit. He will forever be her “mom”. Yesterday while playing in the deep snow she hurt her paw and I let her sleep with us in bed last night. Her 90 pound body, nearly twice as much as Cain’s, was a different force to be reckoned with. She had no problem lying all over me during the night and my body feels as sore as if I have slept on the floor. I think she needed someone to sleep on and I now know how it felt to Cain having slept with her for the past 8 years.