November 16, 2009
“Throughout the blackest night, morning gently tiptoes, feeling its way to dawn.” -Robert Brault
I wake many times throughout the night and after lying in bed unable to fall back to sleep, greet the morning at 5am. I see the glow of a white dog and step carefully over Bear as she snores softly on her bed. Like a nightlight she makes it easier to navigate through the darkness of the room.
As I take a seat at my desk, Sadie pads into the room and plops on a bed next to me. We share a quiet moment and I ask her how she’s doing. I get a small wag from a tail that usually wags nonstop before she curls into a ball and closes her eyes. Her closeness feels good and I try to ponder her thoughts. We’ve become masters of telepathy when it comes to food, walks and going outside and come play or pet me, but none of these fit the bill this morning and I imagine she’s having the same thoughts as me.
I had different ideas to write about this morning, but Sadie’s presence reminds me of the closeness that she shared with Cain. Two dogs so totally different yet bonded like litter mates. Being just a couple of months apart, they started out life together. If dogs are always in the moment, does she not think about the life that she shared with Cain? In the past he always came home after a while and there was always a joyous, frenzied reunion, but she and Bear were both present when we said goodbye to Cain as I never wanted them to wonder where he was. It’s hard for me to believe that she only thinks of him in this moment. And then again maybe that’s what sets her apart from me and my inability to let go. I just don’t know and for now it will still stay the mystery that it is and I’ll keep pondering…