November 17, 2009

“If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.”
-Claudia Ghandi

10:30 am

This is the first time I have been alone since I lost Cain. It is just Bear, Sadie and me. The house is quiet. Bear has parked herself under the table in the morning sun and Sadie sleeps on a bed I’ve pulled next to my desk. Neither one of them waits at the door to go for a walk, a strange feeling for me as it has been a part of our morning ritual for so long. I begin to walk through the house calling Cain’s name as loud as I can. Of course Bear can’t hear me and I’m sure Sadie thinks I’ve gone mad. Maybe I have. I continue calling for a bit and it feels good and when it doesn’t I stop. The house is quiet again.