Dear Kelly

February 4, 2010

“I’ll be there, I’ll be there, just call my name, I’ll be there” – Michael Jackson, “I’ll Be There”

Dear Kelly,

I’ve been waiting to send this to you, as I know how difficult the last three months have been, and though I’m not real good at writing, there are a few things that I need to tell you.

I know how much you miss me and that you still blame yourself for certain things. It’s easy to think there was something else that you could have done, but the bottom line is, you did the best that you could. My health was failing and though I appreciate all of the heroic measures you took to try to extend my life, in the end I only wanted to be by your side. Without tubes and needles; medicine and doctors. Remember that day in the parking lot when I planted my feet and tugged backward on the leash. I really didn’t want to go into the doctor’s office anymore, even though you sat by my side for all those hours. Maybe your efforts bought us a bit more time and maybe not. Just know that I was relieved when you made the decision to bring me home. My time spent with you was happier outside of doctors’ offices, and the quality of each moment far more important than the length of time to me. I’m going to let you think about this, so I’ll save the other things that I have to say to you for another time.

You already know how much it meant to me to be a part of your life. You were my best friend, and I loved you more than anything in this world from the moment you captured my heart so many years ago. You stayed true even when others had given up on me; you were my angel on earth as I was yours. We had so many wonderful times and it makes me happy when those memories occupy your mind. Be happy today, and smile as you think of me.

Remember the lessons that I taught you, and apply them once again to your life. I realize it is hard for you, being human and all, but you must or my work will have been in vain. I can’t tell you where I am, but know that I still shadow your every move, and when you need me, just call my name. I’ll be standing by that tree on the trail, or lying in the sun by the dining room table. I’ll be barking up the trees in the backyard, or running along the fence between the neighbors. I’ll be rolling in the dirt in the paddock, or prancing to the door when you come home. I’ll be there when you finally drop off to sleep at night, and I’ll be there when your eyes open to greet each new day. I’ll be everywhere you want me to be…I am all around you.